Before Baby: Software design

It’s time to seriously get back into job searching. I was dabbling in looking for additional career opportunities before Ellie. However, my current work environment is not a healthy place for its employees – let alone women – let alone a new mother. I have known this for years, and I have been casual aboutContinue reading “Before Baby: Software design”

The Irvine Fires

As I’m writing this, the fire is 5% contained and burning 12,000 acres of land. No structures have been destroyed, but 100,000 people have been evacuated from their homes. Our home has not been affected because, although we live along the same canyon, we are farther south from the blaze. We have not even beenContinue reading “The Irvine Fires”

Abrupt Halt for Ellie-hood

It has happened. Sara had her Motherhood moment that all mothers go through. Sara realized that she was going to lose her cool, and Ellie would not understand, so she removed Ellie from the situation and asked for my help. That photo above? That’s the aftermath of a bottle and the remaining powdered formula knockedContinue reading “Abrupt Halt for Ellie-hood”

Community in Mommy-hood

How fortunate my family is to have a great community of friends and family who contributed to my mental health in the last weeks when I posted I Have Lied to You. I received phone calls, comments, and texts to share that I was not alone, that these feelings were common for every mom, andContinue reading “Community in Mommy-hood”

Pattern Interrupt Perfection

I have a bad habit when it comes to my anxiety. When I start to feel out of control, I imagine my perfect day – what is the routine, what am I wearing, who am I with, where do I spend this perfect day? I have labeled this “perfect day” exercise a form of GoalContinue reading “Pattern Interrupt Perfection”

Warning! Danger! Baby!

Creating a family around a baby is the most basic function of anyone’s lifetime. Every other animal in Earth’s animal kingdom lives each day with the desire to procreate and propagate the Earth with their species. This doesn’t mean that parenthood is for everyone or that it should be the goal of every human. AfterContinue reading “Warning! Danger! Baby!”

Baby Spa Day Reviews: Part 2

It’s been eight weeks since Ellie was born, and I have not been able to help myself. Although I have not finished the previous lotions and potions from the last review, I cracked open a few more bottles from the baby spa gift sets. It also occurred to me that I missed mentioning the DiaperContinue reading “Baby Spa Day Reviews: Part 2”

Celebrate Progress

Eleanor slept until 2pm and then 5:30am last night. We almost got a full night of sleep. We’re moving in the right direction as a family toward sleeping through the night. I’m so excited for progress according to what is age-appropriate for Ellie. My level of excitement cannot be understated. By the middle of lastContinue reading “Celebrate Progress”

I have Lied to you

I called this Abrupt Halt, but that was a lie. I have not halted for motherhood. I have attempted to keep everything the same but just throw a baby in the mix. That is not possible. Many Moms already knew this and were reading me for weeks like an impending car crash. I refused toContinue reading “I have Lied to you”

Before Baby: Battling Anxiety

Part of the intention of this blog is to become Eleanor’s mother more fully, but also to remember who I was before. That person is not gone. That person is only made more complete by Eleanor joining our lives and our family. Not every part of who I was before is something I’m proud of.Continue reading “Before Baby: Battling Anxiety”